'Queen Bee Syndrome' - Alpha Females making life harder for women at work

My business partner and I found ourselves having a very interesting conversation with a business woman the other night at a charity networking event. We were discussing the research we've recently been undertaking concerning women in the workplace and the so-called 'double glass ceiling' they hit as they climb the corporate ladder. She explained to us that she'd read an article recently which explained 'Queen Bee Syndrome'. Have you heard of it yet? If you haven't, you'll most certainly recognise the behaviour when you understand the term. Think Meryl Streep's character in the film 'The Devil Wears Prada' – she publicly humiliates her junior female employee, implements her ideas (passing them off as her own) and displays a distinct lack of interest in anything vaguely 'work/life balance' or 'family' related - in fact, you daren't mention the words 'childcare', 'school play', or 'sorry I'm late' since you saw your female co-worker get her head bitten off so viciously when she mentioned them! She's more male than the men she's walked over to reach her position and she's fought so hard for her career that she's not about the make it easy for some young upstart to follow behind her stiletto heeled foot prints – just because she's a woman!

Fight your own game, she'll be muttering under her breath between unreasonable demands and put-downs, I sacrificed everything to get where I am, she'll gloat as she actively promotes your male colleagues over you! In a recent survey, it transpires that 78% of the 4,206 people polled agreed that 'female bosses made advancement harder for other women', with just 13% disagreeing and 9% who weren't sure. Google the term 'Queen Bee Syndrome' and you'll get a surprising plethora of articles, polls and information all citing crushingly disappointing facts and real-life examples for you to squirm over.

You see, I think that most of us imagined that if only there were more female managers/directors and board members in place, then the traditional 'male' workplace culture would be forced to change in favour of the typically 'feminine' nurturing, collaborative traits that we like to think our gender demonstrating. It seems not though, but why is that?

Well I've read today that it could be that the number of places available for women at senior/board level are seen to be so few and far between that once there, women cling onto them for dear life – after all – if your female director gives you a hand up – where is she going to go? Couple that with the fact that women are constantly bombarded with examples of not being taken seriously in the media and business once they lose their looks and youth, they feel even more inclined to defend their territory against other younger women in their organisation.

So if this is the case, I have a question for you...

'If women knew for certain that, like their male counterparts, their success didn't depend on their looks and age and if there were visibly more spaces available for women in senior corporate posts – do you think the Queen Bee Syndrome would still exist?'

Click here to comment and let us know what you think

Are you currently suffering as a consequence of your female bosses bad behaviour?  Contact us and ask about our 'Queen Bee Syndrome' coaching sessions. Call us on 0845 474 2241 or email lynette@thewomenscoachingcompany.co.uk

 

Comments

[Laura_B_James]

The woman who makes life hard need not be a top exec. She could equally be in a valuable support function - HR, office manager, etc. This might be particularly bad where senior executive women are in a minority eg engineering fields.

[Lynette Allen]

A point well made Laura, well said, thanks for commenting.

[Lena Benjamin]

Great article - I put the queen bee syndrome down to 'ego' and people - women as well as men not realising that it isn't about them - it's about the bigger picture and how to make a difference that will have an impact on many not just me myself and I!

[Angela Robinson]

I think there is an element of resentment. If a women feels that she has had to sacrifice so much to get her position, maybe postpone having children etc, why shouldn't others have to do the same. She may feel that other women should equally have to suffer and so while she could help her fellow female, she may deliberately choose not to, particularly if her colleague is managing to create a balance or has what her senior doesn't due to the choices she's made.

[Lynette Allen]

Good point Angela - and I think you're probably right - it's a bit to do with a woman either wanting to just look after her own interests in her own job in her own world - which is fine on one hand, not everyone is going to be a beacon for change - but then if NO-ONE is a beacon for change, if all women at that level continue to act in the same way, the situation will still be the same when our daughters are in their 40's, that's why I think women need to evaluate how they got there and why other women need to be supported to rise up too - what do you think?

[Marya Grier]

Wonderful article and so true. Women are much harder on other women, more territorial, and terribly unkind to each other. You see it in Kindergarten, grade school, and on up the ladder, among "friends" and colleagues. It's kind of an "I've got mine now you get yours" mentality and there's also the caveate "And don't ask me to help you along the way".

I believe coaching can bring these behaviors and attitudes to the surface but the client must be ready to change their behaviors because they have seen how it works against them. Unfortunately, it still may not be enough to elicite real behavior changes but it a step in the right direction.

Good luck with your efforts.

[Lynette Allen]

Thank you Marya, you're so right.

Are any of you on facebook? Please pop over and join us on the Her Invitation facebook page http://www.facebook.com/herinvitation - we'd love to see you there

Lynette