That was a recent headline in the Daily Mail ‘Children with working mothers are six times more likely to be fat’. Is this useful information or just more guilt?
When 68% of working age women are mothers with dependent children, these kinds of headlines can be very detrimental. As a working mum, you rush from pillar to post from the moment you get up in the morning, to the moment you get to lay your head on the pillow at night.
These accusations just add to the guilt mothers already feel when they grab a ready meal occasionally because they need to pick their child up from the child minders, get them to a swimming lesson within the hour, and finish a vital piece of work for their boss. What you feed your children though is not the only situation that can lead to dispirited feelings. Missing the school play because you had to work, or leaving your children with the child minder can also bring up these feelings as a direct result of the stresses and strains working mothers face.
It might not bring great comfort to know that most working mums have felt this pang of culpability at some point, when looking into the big tear-filled eyes of their child who is just willing them to pick them up again and take them home, but it might be useful to know that some have found ways to overcome these difficulties to balance motherhood with working.
A famous working mum was Dame Anita Roddick, who founded the Body Shop while raising her two young daughters. She won numerous awards over a number of years including Veuve Clicquot's Business Women of the Year. So I ask the question, did she have the same stresses and strains that we are feeling today? Very likely! Work life combined with motherhood is a tricky balancing act for anyone. Dame Anita Roddick achieved this. I'll never know her secrets, but I do know that every working mother has the potential to achieve the best balance possible between the two.
Christine approached The Women's Coaching Company for coaching to do just that. She had two children of 2 and 5 years and worked 4 days a week; this meant she needed different childcare arrangements for each child. She was finding that the school holidays were becoming very expensive and awkward to arrange due to the age difference between the two children. Having to drop one child off in one location and the other in another location was taking up a lot of her precious time. Christine realised that she needed to make some changes, she told me life felt such a battle, but that she was unsure what changes could be made.
After being coached through her situation, she was able to see alternative ideas and within weeks she had agreed new working hours at work. She had negotiated having the summer and Christmas holidays as non-working days. Although this meant a small dip in wages, she found that it all evened itself out as she no longer paid for childcare or petrol plus the stress had gone! During our sessions, she also changed lots of small things that have helped make her working week much less stressful. After just 4 sessions, she has changed her morning routine to a more productive one and arranged for a friend to collect her eldest child from school 1 day a week.
If Christine's story tells me anything, it's that even when you feel like you’re the only clown juggling, there are ways in which changes can be made when your current routines and schedules are not working for you any more.
These changes can help no end in making your working day run much more smoothly. What changes would you make? Some clients learn to say 'no' more, others, find delegating very liberating! Find out what solutions would suit you best by taking an hour out to talk them through. Click here for more information. Coaching is far quicker and more effective than struggling on your own. If you want things to change then look to make the changes, have fun and enjoy yourself and your children as they won’t be young forever.
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